Life is like a sideways elevator; it may seem slow, but sometimes it gives you a surprise floor!
If you think youre too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito!
Life is a soup, and Im a fork.
If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving definitely isnt for you!
Life is like a camera; focus on what’s important, capture the good times, and if things dont work out, take another shot!
If you cant laugh at yourself, Ill be happy to do it for you!
Mother Nature is a crazy artist, always throwing colors in the sky and chaos in our lives.
Dont worry if plan A doesnt work; there are 25 more letters in the alphabet!
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!
Life is a journey, and sadly, Im still using Google Maps.
You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes!
Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else!
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade, then find someone whose life gave them vodka and have a party!
Some days youre the pigeon, and some days youre the statue!
Life is a grindstone; it can either grind you down or polish you up!
Wisdom comes from experience, but a lot of it comes from bad experiences!
When life closes a door, it opens a window. Just dont forget to close the fridge while youre at it!
If you think life is hard, try raising teenagers!
Life is short; smile while you still have teeth!
I don’t mind going back to the 90s, but could we leave the dial-up internet there?
Life is like a box of chocolates; better when shared, unless chocolate is involved!
If youre going to be late, at least make an entrance!
Life’s like a sandwich: no matter which way you flip it, the ingredients always fall out!
If you think you have it tough, try taking a selfie during a hurricane!
Some people bring happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go!
When nothing goes right, go left!
Life is a journey, but dont forget to pack snacks!
You know youre on the right track when you become a little less adult around friends.
I finally found the key to happiness; its a front door key and it lets me into my fridge!
If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic!
My life feels like a test I didnt study for, and the teacher is really mean!
Life is like a pizza; even when its bad, its still pretty good.
Dont let yesterday take up too much of today; unless youre binge-watching your favorite show!
Life is an art of drawing without an eraser. And boy, have I made some squiggles!
If youre going to trip, make it a graceful fall!
Lifes a dance you learn as you go; sometimes you two-step, sometimes you just stumble!
The best lessons in life are usually learned through a little comical chaos!
Trouble is, my life is a sitcom without the laugh track!
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth it!
Life is the only game where the rules change every time you hit ‘restart.’
They say laughter is the best medicine, so I’m basically a walking pharmacy!
Life is like an onion; sometimes it makes you cry, but you can always layer it on!
You never know what you have until it’s gone, which is why I always keep snacks close!
Life’s a circus, and I’m just the jester trying to juggle my way through!