I’ve been on the radio for over 40 years, and I still can’t get a decent reception from my wife.
The secret to my success is just being in the right place at the right time and that time is usually during the game.
I told my wife I wanted to be a baseball player, and she said, ‘You can be anything you want… if you make enough money at it!’
I never let the truth get in the way of a good story, especially in baseball.
Baseball is 90 percent mental, and the other half is physical or so Ive been told!
When I played, my batting average was like a roller coaster: up and down and mostly down.
If I had a dollar for every time I was wrong, Id probably buy the team!
It’s not a real game until someone is blamed for the loss that’s baseball 101.
They say some players are born with talent, while I was born with a good press agent.
I follow my coaching advice: always keep your eye on the donut, not the hole!
Its great to be here, but then again, its great to be anywhere that serves cold drinks.
I have an arm like a cannon in the opposite direction!
Being a sports announcer is like being a magician; I make the mistakes disappear!
A night out with my friends is like watching a baseball game only with more snacks and fewer outs.
I always believed in the power of positive thinking, which is why I keep my expectations low!
They said Id never succeed in baseball and they were right!
If you think your job is tough, try being the umpire at one of my games!
I used to be a player, but then I realized I preferred watching from the sidelines with a hot dog.
If I had a nickel for every time I messed up a call, Id still be broke but at least I could buy a soda.
Every time I step up to the mic, I remind myself: more than just a game, its comedy hour!
Some say Im a legend because I can remember the plays, but really, I just have a good memory for food!
Ive been called the voice of baseball; I prefer the voice of reason, but nobody listens when I talk about my cooking!
Baseball is a game of inches, and Im still trying to measure my batting average!
Behind every good player is a coach who knows how to take them down a notch.
You cant rush greatness, or at least thats what I tell my microwave.
The best advice I ever got was to never listen to advice at all. I should have taken it!
Some people see a baseball field; I see a buffet with bases.
Just because I’m on the radio doesn’t mean you should have to hear my voice that much!
A career in baseball is a lot like a game of tug-of-war mostly just pulling excuses.
Ive had some wild calls in my career, but the wildest was when the phone rang during a no-hitter.
I always stand up for my players, especially when they trip over first base!
My career is full of highs and lows, but mostly lows like my batting average.
If theres one thing I learned in baseball, its to always keep my glove handy… for catching popcorn.
Ive got the charisma of a baseball and the coordination of a windmill.
My game strategy: keep the fans happy, and if that fails, keep the snacks flowing!
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a superhero; now, Im just super at making excuses.
They say the best part of baseball is the seventh-inning stretch; I say its all about the snacks.
I just go where the wins take me unfortunately, thats usually to the concession stand.
In my book, a strikeout is just an excuse to get better snacks!
I approach every game like a buffet: scope it out and load up on the good stuff.
I cant predict the game, but I can predict Ill want nachos at some point.
If baseball is a game of inches, Ive consistently been on the wrong end of the ruler.
They say practice makes perfect, but I don’t think they ever saw my batting practice.
Every great player has a mentor; mine just happens to be a hot dog vendor.
Life is like baseball: sometimes you hit a home run, and other times you just get beaned!